If you get a chance check out this article. It was in Newsweek and is about children noticing differences in race. Click here... http://www.newsweek.com/id/214989?GT1=43002 . Now many of you (myself included) feel as though we do not regard others differently. We say... (pick one)
- I am not prejudiced
- I have lots of ___ friends
- I treat everyone equally regardless of race
- The ___ make the best food
TRUE STORY and one that I am not particularly proud of:
Several years ago, I was driving through a somewhat 'seedy' section of Pittsburgh. I am at a stop light (it is broad daylight) and down the sidewalk walk a few black men all hip-hoppy looking. I instinctively lock my doors. I catch myself and gasp... what am I doing??? If these men were white... would I do the same? My very own sister-in-law is African. My sweet, smart and beautiful nieces are African. Am I a bigot? Am I assuming that because they are black, they are to be feared?
I present this very scenario to my class every year when we are on the topic of diversity. I never cease to be amazed... EVERY single person indicates that they would lock their door regardless of the men's race or appearance. I am sure that they wholeheartedly believe their answer but I question how accurate it really is. I would answer the same, too if I haven't done some serious self-reflection over the years. Awareness is the first step!
If you never saw the movie Crash... watch it.
3 comments:
I JUST posted the same article! Great minds think alike. And you are right its a question of "when" not "if." We have already had some pretty biggoted comments about adoption come our way - particularly because we have a bio child in the mix, I think. The Newsweek article makes that great statement that we do a great job of working hard to keep our kids from operating in gender stereotypes. We can do the same job with racial predjudices in the same language, I think.
Hey Emily!
I know you must be shocked hearing from me... but every once in awhile I'm like Lazarus and raise myself from the dead! hahah.
This article was also brought up and discussed on the Guat-Adopt Listserve - where many of the parents have children going into high school and college and so had some interesting insight.
I believe you are correct in "it's not IF it's WHEN". And how do you handle it knowing that your response will also help to formulate not only your child's response but can even mold their self-esteem or their feeling of being different and whether that's ok?
I've just had an "interaction" with a relative of mine who sent me a very racist joke about a man wanting to be seen quickly in a hospital ER and so he went in wearing a Border Patrol Badge on his shirt and the ER cleared out. Of course it's all right wing rhetoric about the horrific problem of illegal immigrants and that's why we shouldn't have health care reform. blah blah blah. But the joke also went on about how we wouldn't have anyone to work at McDonald's etc. etc.
Ok so first of all - how stupid was it for this relative to send something like this to me? You know I'm going to cut you off at the knees and feed you to the fishes...
Second of all - here's the irony about illegal immigration and how racist we still are as a country - My husband is NOT a US Citizen. He is a good looking, blonde hair, blue eyed, 6 foot Englishman who was an illegal immigrant for about 5 years when he first came to this country until he won the "Green Card" lottery (which central and south americans are not eligible for). No one EVER bothered him, called him names, told him he shouldn't be in the ER, called him a criminal - whatever. And yet, I am certain that my son - who came onto US soil as A CITIZEN - will have to confront all of these "border control" jokes, racial slurs, profiling, "go back home" and more.
We are in process for a second adoption this time from Ethiopia which I think in terms of racism is going to be even more challenging. But one concept that came up that really hit home for me in figuring out how to help my children deal with all this is that we aren't just a "multi-cultural" family. We are a MULTI-RACIAL family. We need to learn and be aware as much as we can what the world will look like not only through our children's eyes but through their skin color and their ethnicity. Because no matter how many "white" routine things we do with them, eventually children (like all human beings) will explore congregating or building relationships with others they perceive are "like" them and whose life experience may be different from ours.
It's gave me one of those "ah-hah" moments where now my perspective is just a little different and my awareness a little changed.
On another note - i have the most fabulous Champurrada recipe. Myriam (our part-time 2nd mom from Guatemala) stayed late after I got home from work last week and made me bake them. Granny Jean is in heaven!
Hope all's well with you, Scott and Cecilia. We'll be in to visit soon and we will look you up!
susan parker
good article. It is difficult wherever you live. And I find myself playing into the role both ways - when it is convenient to be left alone and play along - I can be a great Mexican. And other days I get frustrated when I see a Mexican driver not reading the signs, etc...Thank goodness we all share this planet and each day we hopefully make great strides to come together.
Post a Comment