Ok friends... I need some help. About 3 days ago, Cecilia became very upset when I tried to comb her hair or do anything with it. I have always been careful not to pull and use plenty of "No More Tangles" in addition to conditioner when we wash. I have always waited to comb when she was engrossed in another activity. It all started when one day she took the comb from me and said, "All Done!" and from there it has gone down hill and fast. Now she looks like some little homeless person who dresses quite nicely. So - do I hold her down and gently do it anyway? (could make it worse) Continue to comb a tiny bit (2 swoops through the hair is max) and let her look like a rag-a-muffin? Discontinue combing for a few days and allow her to look scary and retry later?
Where is the line drawn between allowing Cecilia to decide what happens and traumatizing her??? It is so much easier to objectively assess the situation when on the other side. Thanks guys! Either email me @ the3wolves@verizon.net or comment here. To comment here: click on comment icon below this posting. On the right hand side under "Chose an Identity" click on anonymous if you do not have an account. This is the easiest option.
7 comments:
Well, I personally would still comb it everyday. Maybe it just needs to be combed more often? Does Cecilia have a doll with hair that she can comb? Maybe set her up with her doll and comb while you comb her hair? I always comb Kates hair while she is in her highchair. That way she is restrained and occupied. Although, she never has given me an issue with hair-combing.
Cecilia is just now starting to complain about having her hair combed. You are lucky!!!! Lili has complained since day 1.
Combing/brushing the hair has to be done. I don't think she's going to need more than a couple years of therapy from it :-), but I look at it this way; some toddlers cry and throw fits about a diaper change, but it has to be done; some throw fits about a bath, but it has to be done. You get the picture. Just keep trying to find something that will distract her, even if only for a minute and comb out her hair. Also, if you're using a comb, you might want to try a brush instead. We have found that Lili enjoys it when her hair is very lightly brushed in the evening when she's getting tired. It's made her much more receptive to having it brushed at other times during the day.
I'm the wrong person to ask if we are talking about trauma, because everyday whether the girls feel like it or not they get their hari combed and put into pony tails, tightly. I would just keep doing it. Eventually she'll either do it herself, or you'll do it until she moves out. My mom did my hair until I was 18 - don't ask about the neurosis associated with that.
Oh and BTW - Britax carseat = GREAT!!
A doll with her is how I got Auri to cooperate! The talking Dora vanity is awesome! Sometimes Auri just wants to come the hair herself...but at least its brushed!!!
The same problem started with my almost 3 year old a few months ago. One day, she just decided I am not allowed to put pony tails in her hair! Distraction is the key...I have a little basket full of hair barrettes, pony tails, and such. I let Adriena look through the basket while I work on her hair. She loves to pick out the barrette and I get a pony tail in her hair in the meantime. Most days she barely notices until I take it out. Good Luck! Sharon
you are on the right track - you just have to get it done. some days they have more of an opinion than others, but she will get used to it, right?? that is why we got the short, bob haircut - mom couldn't stand the impatience!!! sending big hugs your way!
AND YOUR UPDATE, MRS. MARCH 16?? just kidding!!! i love target diapers. actually they fit a little better than huggies - more compact and less fluff and we have yet to have an accident outside the diaper. plus, they are a good $5 less or so...so it all adds up. i like them a lot!!! how are you guys??? looks like good as ever!
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