Cecilia's friend, Elmer, came over for a visit and they played a little in the leaves. Elmer will be 2 next month and Cecilia runs circles around him. Here they are together...
Shortly thereafter, Uncle George came on the lawnmower. Cecilia and Elmer decided to get the heck outta there...
We spend every second we can outside because we will be trapped inside for months. Cecilia is getting very excited about Hallowenn (or maybe it is her mom) and is going to be a lion. We'll see how well that works out.
And now the story... Yesterday my mother-in-law took Cecilia to the local grocery store. As we were discussing the trip, my mother-in-law mentioned that two different people asked her, "Where is she from?" I blew a gasket! I said that was rude. My mother-in-law said that they were so struck by how cute she was. I said that although, yes, she is very cute it was rude none-the-less. What even made them ponder where she was from??? Was it not a possibility that her mother or father were Hispanic and she was from here??? I meet a lot of people with children who look nothing like them and it would never even occur to me that they were from somewhere else or even to ask.
I am very proud that Cecilia is Guatemalan and by no means am I trying to blend her in. I share with many people that I meet that we adopted her from Guatemala. Her story is ours to share on our own terms not on the prompting of people who have never left Pennsylvania and don't know any better. So... honest friends and fellow adoptive parents... are my feelings toward the situation justified? Please post a comment becuase I am looking forward to hearing your thoughts. OK... I am done talking abouot he situation. Thanks for letting me vent.
3 comments:
Sometimes people don't think before they open their mouths. It is SO frustrating! Glad you are enjoying the nice weather while it lasts!
We are frequently asked where Lili is from. When approached I do try to determine their purpose in asking. Some are adoptive parents or have friends or family who have adopted and are very sincere in asking because it has effected their lives in a personal way. Some are considering adoption and others are simply thrilled to see that we have chosen to grow our family through adoption. Some are just plain nosey, fortunately, those seem to be the minority. I think it's important to recognize the fact adoptive families are much more educated than the average person when it comes to adoption related issues and I think it's important to take that into consideration when we are approached by complete strangers. International adoption has become one of many ways families are grown and I do try to respect try to respect the fact that some families just don't like being approached.
With all that said, our experience has been very positive. We have not yet had anyone who has asked about Lili with anything other than good intentions. We are very proud of her and her heritage and don't have a problem educating others.
I agree with Debbie. International Adoption is more common these days that previous and I think most people are just trying to learn something or start a conversation about something so wonderful. I am more than happy to tell people my daughter is from Guatemala and do it in a casual manner hoping when she gets older, she too can proudly say I am from Guatemala. There have been many times I have wanted to ask a mom something about her children that I think were probably adopted because I feel we share something very special, but I always stop because I'm afraid a simple question might be interpreted as rude. Now if that person asked how much you paid for her, or why her mother gave her up or something along those lines, I would say that is rude and the person probably doesn't realize how rude it is. I feel there are much bigger battles to fight.
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