We are home. We pulled in the driveway @ midnight on Friday-Saturday. Things have been crazy ever since. Cecilia has settled in nicely and we have not seen too much disruption... yet. I have been trying to keep things low key and gradually introduce her to new people much to the dismay of friends and family who think I am "keeping her away" from them. Please don't anyone take offense to this! Cecilia has a great disposition which aids in her transition but imagine this... someone takes you away from EVERYTHING you ever knew - climate, house, smells, food, language and appearence of people. Then everyone wants to pick you up and hold you. Cecilia may smile and interact but still this is big stuff for her. We were advised by the adoption agency to limit her contact with new people for the first 2 weeks and that Scott and I are the only people who should take care of her immediate needs (food, diapering, bathing, etc.) After that time period, she is fair game for hugs and kisses. I have heard 100 times about other people who adopted and that their child would go to anyone. This sounds great but is a huge red flag! What it means is that the child is not discriminating strangers and had not properly bonded with their immediate caregiver. I don't want to hurt feelings, it is just that the most important things is that Cecilia has time to bond with Scott and I as her #1 people and that her social-emotional state is of the utmost importance. Other adoptive parents... please comment on this. I want support that I am not just making this shit up. :-) OK... I am off my soap box now.
I never quite knew what what people were yapping about when they would say how hard it is to have a baby. How hard can a baby be??? Try to get up and down the steps with laundry, fold clothes as they are promptly unfolded or better yet, go to the bathroom in a public place where they is no baby seat AND you are wearing button-fly shorts. Not to mention that even though you have carefully child-proofed your house, she manages to find EVERY single hazzard know to man.
That's all for now... I have to make sure her and Scott are still alive.
4 comments:
Emily.. yes.. having a baby is a 24hours job.. but it is nice to have them around.. when they smile or "talk", or touch you.. enjoy your time with Cecilia.. take your time to bond with her. She will know that your are mommy. Keep in touch.. best for you, Cecilia and Scott. Please send me your address.
Take care .. Marcela
You are home!!! Yeah!
I agree with you... all the way.. all my counseling experience would support your thinking that Cecilia would benefit most by adjusting slowing..time alone with you and Scott is sooo important and then eventually she will enjoy the love of everyone... and of course everyone will enjoy Cecilia!
M.
Emily,
You are absolutely correct in limiting who Cecilia interacts with right now. Unlike bio children who begin the bonding process in utero, adopted children need time for bonding and attachment to occur. I would hope that the last thing any of your friends or family would want is for Cecilia to not properly bond and attach with her forever mommy and daddy. I'm sure you will give everyone plenty of time to visit and enjoy her once you know her attachment and bonding is going well.
Regarding the challenges of caring for a baby/toddler. It is certainly challenging, but it's so much fun to sit back and see things through the eyes of a child and to learn what is truly important in life. I finally gave up on having nicely folded kitchen towels and wash cloths. I keep them in a drawer in the kitchen and Lili constantly pulls them out. At first I kept picking them up, folding them and putting them back, but now I simply pick them up and stuff them back in the drawer. The first thing to learn as a new parent is to pick your battles and folded laundry just isn't a battle that's worth waging :-)
Welcome home!
Congratulations on making it HOME! Let the fun begin!
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